Yesterday was most likely, the most depressing day I’ve ever
had working here at the hospital. A couple of my coworkers agree. We were
bombarded with sadness. Once it started, the gloom and grief engulfed us and
for me, didn’t let go, even after a night of sleep.
We started our day
with hearing an older lady, wailing in despair because her cat had just passed
away. The sound was gut wrenching, heartbreaking and a sound I won’t be able to
get out of my head for quite a while. Soon after, one of our coworkers came in
as an emergency with her own pet that had collapsed and wasn’t doing well. The
diagnosis was bad and the difficult decision was made. Seeing the anguish and
despair on a friend’s face, as they say their goodbyes to their family member
and best friend, is a sight that I don’t care to see again. But unfortunately I
know I will. Our 4 legged friends never live long enough, but then again, none of
us 2 leggeds do either.
Once we began to get
our emotions in check, another coworker received the bad news that her dad wasn’t
doing well and was being transferred to a hospital that could take better care
of him. Our roller coaster ride of emotions weren’t done with us yet. We were short-staffed
from the start and as the day went on, there were less and less of us. And for
those of us that were still here, we were already emotionally drained and were
now becoming physically drained as well. But business is business and we must
go on as usual, right? Well, yesterday’s business sucked.
As much as I tried
to stay strong through it all, I think the final straw came after one of the
following appointments. A father and his teenage son, needed our help to stop
the suffering that their old and ailing dog was going through. Euthanasia is one
of the hardest yet kindest decisions you can make for a loved one. No matter
how many times I check one of these appointments in, it never gets easier. What
made this one worse, for me, was watching this teenage boy walk out, behind his
dad, with tears rolling down his face and a look of complete misery and despair
in his eyes. His world had just crumbled because the dog he grew up with was
being left behind, never to be seen again but in memories.
I stayed strong and
kept it all in until bedtime, when the lights were turned off and I laid down
to sleep. That’s when everything came flooding back. The sounds and the sights
of sadness. Then the tears came.
